Mr. Christopher once again taking a break from planning weddings to bring you some more celebrity rumors. While I’d like to do these as often as possible, sometimes there just isn’t enough juicy stuff to make it worth reading. Luckily for you, that has changed and here they are. 5 more sweet rumors.
Rumor #1 – Michael Jackson Has Skin Cancer
Let’s face it. Michael is simply an amazing performer. One only needs to listen to anything up to Thriller to know that. But his personal life is an absolute mess and it is has caused him internal psychological warfare that has had an inevitable effect on his writing. The biggest of which is his appearance which has been butchered by California’s worst. Quack after quack has had their way with Michael’s mug and I would be shocked if he didn’t have skin cancer. But this rumor started as Michael has been seen visiting his long time dermatologist Dr. Arnie Klien several times a week. Not once a week or a couple times a week, but several times a week. I’ve always loved Michael’s music, but I would be shocked if it wasn’t true, so we’re going to start the mill and say that..
This rumor is: Highly Possible That It’s True. I don’t want it to be true, hope that it’s not true, but all signals point to true.
Rumor #2 – Singer Kelis is Broke
Singer Kelis hasn’t been on the road for over a year and is about to give birth to another spawn of arguably one of the greatest rappers of our time, Nas. She has filed papers to the courts documenting her financials so that she can get child support from Nas. Her bills are exceeding $80,000 per month. Yes, per month. When her and Nas were together, they collectively brought in more than enough to cover those bills, but now, sniff, she’s only bringing in a mere $20,000 per month. That’s only $240K per year. What’s a girl to do? How can anyone live on such a paltry amount? The documents state that her mortgage alone is almost $15,000 per month! So let’s get real. She may not be raking in the cash that she was making previously, but everyone reading this would strangle relatives to be clearing almost a quarter of a million a year. It’s insulting. She can still live large in the regular world.
This rumor is: False. By Hollywood standards maybe, but normal people standards, she’s far from broke.
Rumor #3 – Usher is Getting a Divorce
This was a rumor that people were quick to deny to try and protect his career (as if anything could derail it). When wife Tameka was asked about the rumor, she was totally blindsided and had no idea what they were talking about. It was all speculation. Well speculate no more. The papers were officially filed in Georgia in Fulton County and Usher showed up without a ring on his finger at LAX.
This rumor is: True. The naked ring finger happens often, but official government ordained papers don’t write themselves.
Rumor #4 – Lindsay Lohan Stole $500,000 in Jewelry
Hey, I don’t just make this stuff up. A half a million dollars in jewelry went missing after a photo shoot for ELLE magazine. One of the suspects? Miss Lindsay Lohan. Scotland Yard is investigating the disappearance of the super expensive jewels and Lindsay is cooperating. New details have emerged from ELLE magazine that have come to Lindsay’s defense indicating that they “have no reason to believe” that Lindsay is involved in the heist. But until it gets resolved, we’re going to with our gut reaction and say that…
This rumor is: Most Likely False. Obviously, stranger things have, cough, Winona, cough, happened, but Lindsay is on a mission to revive her career and I’m confident she wouldn’t sabotage it for some bling.
Rumor #5 – Linda Hogan Spends Hulk’s Alimony on Drugs
Oh Gawd. Who really cares what that nutbag chick does? That whole family is whack. But we have to do our job. Hulk Hogan pays his estranged wife Linda a whopping $40,000 a month in alimony and multiple witnesses are on board ready to attack her as a druggie who is blowing that cash on blow, pot and the painkiller Roxycodon. Her hairdresser is claiming that Linda comes in to the salon to cash checks there so she has some green to buy her favorite pot and Roxy combo. And another unnamed truck driver says that he has seen her snort blow on a boat before. So, hmm, we’ll say that…
This rumor is: True. Let’s face it. Divorces are ugly and there are tons of false accusations and lies that surface when there are tens of thousands of dollars being forked out. But when you add multiple witnesses, you better have a crazy good alibi.
That’s it for right now! Mr. C signing off.